Me, The Introvert

As a portrait photographer and artist, I am put in the position where in order to generate interest in what I am doing I have to publicly share my work. I am quite introverted and honestly sharing myself with other people scares the shit out of me so I often leave out much of the context behind what I share. I know the stories behind the moments, or the reasoning behind the creation, so why should it matter if anyone else does?

I have been called out many times by friends, family, and partners for sharing too much of myself. Slowly, I stopped creating self portraits regularly (for a number of reasons) and stopped expressing myself through that medium without even realizing how the process connected me to myself and to others. I have been thinking about this a lot as I’ve just started a new goal to create self portraits more frequently.

I think self portraiture allows me to stand in my power and show myself to myself. To stand in one’s power is to take charge of one’s life. I shoot when the inspiration strikes me and I have unintentionally brought this very clear theme of light and shadow into my work as of late. I think it says a lot about where I am at the moment. It has been a very difficult year for me personally, I’ve had to say goodbye to my six closest friends basically all at the same time due to geography and other circumstances of life.

So, here I am in that weird place of life as an introvert where I have to start stepping into the light so to speak and showing myself to others again. This seems to happen to me every few years like I keep getting sidetracked as an extra in everyone else’s stories but the universe nudges me back onto my own path. It is painful every single time but nevertheless, I continue to be grateful for the rich experience I have gained and the beautiful people I have been blessed with along the way.

I don’t look at the darkness in these photos as something that is scary, or heavy, or foreboding. It is  part of the story. We all have a lot that we carry in our own way and I think it is important to acknowledge that and even to share with others. Pain/saddness/worries/struggle should not be taboo!

It’s a strange time to live in really being post-pandemic in a world that takes more and more comfort in isolating and only showing our best through our online presence. It’s okay to acknowledge that life isn’t all gravy. We are all living through the human experience together and to paraphrase something I read earlier “our stories are all different but our lessons are the same.”

I hope that you are inspired to find the things in your life that bring you joy. Even though I am alone a lot these days, I have never felt more optimistic about my life, my decisions, and my future. That is something because it’s taken me a very long time to arrive at this point. I am excited to continue on this journey and see what this coming year has to offer up. Big shifts are happening, making room for what’s meant to come my way, and whatever it is I know there will continue to be opportunities to grow, connect with others, and experience joy. I am excited t o keep exploring my world through this self portrait challenge, and to become more comfortable again with sharing a bit more of myself.